PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 152.
April 18th, 1917.
CHARIVARIA
.
The growing disposition to declare war against her is causing genuine concern in Germany, where it is feared that there may not be enough interned German vessels to go round.
An Austrian General is reported to have been overwhelmed by an avalanche of snow, and at Easter-time a number of patriotic English people were offering, in view of the usefulness of the stuff for military purposes, to forgo their own ration.
The question of Parliamentary reform has been under discussion in the House of Commons. That the Legislature should attempt to deal with reforms of any kind which have not been previously demanded by the Daily Press is regarded in certain quarters as a most dangerous precedent.
Immediately north of the Siegfried line, the experts explain, is a new German position, which they have christened the Wotan line. It will not be long before we hear of fresh German activities in the Götterdämmerung line.
Thousands of men at the docks are boycotting public-houses as a protest against increased prices. A deputation of licensed victuallers will shortly wait upon the Government to inform them that their action in restricting the brewers' output is likely to have the deplorable effect of making drinking unpopular.
There has been some slight activity on the Dublin front, but beyond a few skirmishes there is little to report.
One of the most recent additions to the Entente Alliance proves that the art of war as practised by Germany is such a horrible travesty that even the Cubists condemn it.
Goat-skin coats are mentioned by a lady writer as quite a novelty. She is in error. Goats have worn them for years.
A wedding at Huntingdon, the other day, was interrupted by the barking of dog within the vicinity of the church. It is a peculiar thing, but dogs have never looked upon marriage as the serious thing it really is.
We are sorry to contradict a contemporary, but the assertion that men are losing their chivalry cannot be lightly passed over. Only the other night in the tube a man was distinctly heard to say to a lady who was standing, "Pray accept my seat, Madam. I am getting out here."
Small Invalid (to visitor). "I'VE HAD A LOT OF DISEASES IN MY TIME — MEASLES — WHOOPING-COUGH — INFLUENZA — TONSILITIS — BUT (modestly) I HAVEN'T HAD DROPSY YET."
Mr. DUKE has just stated that there is work for all in Ireland. This is not the way to make the Government popular in the distressed isle.
The Vienna Zeit says the worst enemy of the people is their appetite. Several local humourists have been severely dealt with for pointing out that eating is the best way of getting rid of this pest.
A Stepney market porter attempted last week to evade military service by hiding in a cupboard, but the police captured him despite the fact that he attempted to throw them off the scent by making a noise like a piece of cheese—a very old device.
On one day of Easte