Joe Miller's JESTS
OR, THE
WITS
VADE-MECUM.
BEING
A Collection of the most Brilliant Jests;the Politest Repartees; the most ElegantBons Mots, and most pleasant shortStories in the English Language.
First carefully collected in the Company, andmany of them transcribed from the Mouth of the FacetiousGentleman, whose Name they bear; and now setforth and published by his lamentable Friend and formerCompanion, Elijah Jenkins, Esq;
Most Humbly Inscribed
To those Choice-Spirits of the AGE,
Captain Bodens, Mr. Alexander Pope,Mr. Professor Lacy, Mr. Orator Henley,and Job Baker, the Kettle-Drummer.
LONDON:
Printed and Sold by T. Read, in Dogwell-Court, White-Fryars,
Fleet-Street, MDCCXXXIX.
Transcriber's Note: Jest number 59 was omitted from the original text.
JOE MILLER's JESTS.
1. 
he Duke of A——ll, who says more good Things than any Body,being behind the Scenes the First Night of the Beggar's Opera,and meeting Cibber there, well Colley, said he, how d'youlike the Beggar's Opera? Why it makes one laugh, my Lord,answer'd he, on the Stage; but how will it do in print. O! very well,I'll answer for it, said the Duke, if you don't write a Preface toit.[1]
2. There being a very great Disturbance one Evening at Drury-LanePlay-House, Mr. Wilks, coming upon the Stage to say something topacify the Audience, had an Orange thrown full at him, which he havingtook up, making a low Bow, this is no Civil Orange, I think, saidhe.
3. Mr. H—rr—n, one of the Commissioners of the Revenue inIreland, being one Night in the Pit, at the Play-House inDublin, Monoca Gall, the Orange Girl, famous for her Witand her Assurance, striding over his Back, he popp'd his Hands under herPetticoats: Nay, Mr. Commissioner, said she, you'll find no Goods therebut what have been fairly entered.
4. Joe Miller sitting one day in the Window at theSun-Tavern in Clare-Street, a Fish Woman and her Maidpassing by, the Woman cry'd, Buy my Soals; buy my Maids: Ah, youwicked old Creature, cry'd honest Joe, What are you notcontent to sell your own Soul, but you must sell your Maid's too?
5. When the Duke of Ormond was young, and came first to Court, hehappen'd to stand next my Lady Dorchester, one Evening in theDrawing-Room, who being but little upon the Reserve on most Occasions,let a