"Heavily hangs the broad sunflower,
Over its grave i' the earth so chilly;
Heavily hangs the hollyhock,
Heavily hangs the tiger lily."
TENNYSON.
It was the gloomy twilight of a gloomy November day; dark and leadenclouds were fast shutting out every lingering ray of daylight; and thewind, which moaned dismally around the house, was tossing into madantics the leaves which strewed the playground. The lamps were notlighted yet; of visible fires the pensionnat of St. Catharine's wasinnocent; a dull black stove, more or less gigantic, according to thesize of the apartment, gloomed in every one, and affected favorably thethermometer, if not the imagination. We paced untiringly up and down thedim corridor—Nelly, Agnes and I—three children, who, by virtue of ouryouth, ought to have been let off, one would have thought, for someyears yet, from the deep depression that was fast settling on ourspirits. In truth we were all three very miserable, we thought—Nellyand Agnes, I am afraid, more so than I, who in common justice ought tohave participated deeply in, as I was the chief occasion of, theirgrief.
My trunk was packed and strapped, and stood outside the door of mydormitory, ready for the porter's attention. In it lay my school-books,closed forever, as I hoped; and souvenirs innumerable of schoolfriendships and the undying love of the extremely young persons by whomI was surrounded.
From them I was to be severed to-morrow, as was expected, and
"It might be for years, and it might be for ever,"
as Nelly had just said, choking up on the last sentence. I did feelunhappy, and very much like "choking up" too, when I passed the greatwindows, that looked into the playground, and remembered all the madhours of frolic I had passed there; when I took down my shawl from thepeg where it had hung nightly for five years, and remembered, with athrill, it was "the last time;" when the lid of my empty desk fell downwith an echo that sounded drearily through the long school-room; when Ithought "where I might be this time to-morrow," and when Agnes' andNelly's arms twined about me, reminded me of the rapidly approachinghour of separation from those who had represented the world to me forfive years—whom I had loved and hated, and by whom I had been loved andhated, with all the fervor of sixteen. The hatreds now were softeneddown by the nearness of the parting; all my ancient foes, (and they hadnot been few), had "made up" and promised forgiveness and forgetfulnessentire; and all ancient feuds were dead. All my friends now loved mewith tenfold the ardor they had ever felt before; all the staff ofteachers, who had, I am afraid, a great deal to forgive, of impatientself-will, mad spirits and thoughtless inattention, were good enough toforget all, and remember only what they were pleased to call the truthand honesty and courage, that in the years we had been together, theyhad never known to fail.
They little knew how their unlooked for praise humbled me; and how farmore deeply than any reproach, it made me realize the waste of time andtalents that I had to look back upon.
So, most unexpectedly to myself, I found that I was going off withflying colors; that all were joining to deplore my departure and laud mygood qualities; and that, from being rather a "limb" in the eyes of theschool, and a hopeless sinner in my own, I was promoted, temporari