PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOLUME 98.
March 29, 1890.
MR. PUNCH'S MORAL MUSIC-HALL DRAMAS.
No. IX.—UNDER THE HARROW.
Characters.
Sir Poshbury Puddock (a haughty and high-minded Baronet).
Verbena Puddock (his Daughter).
Lord Bleshugh (her Lover).
Spiker (a needy and unscrupulous Adventurer).
Blethers (an ancient and attached Domestic).
ACT I.—Scene—The Morning Room, at Natterjack Hall, Toadley-le-Hole;large window open at back, with heavy practicable sash.
Blethers. Sir Poshbury's birthday to-day—his birthday!—and thegentry giving of him presents. Oh, Lor! if they only knew what I couldtell 'em!... Ah, and must tell, too, before long—but not yet—notyet!
[Exit.
Verb. Yes, Papa is forty to-day; (innocently) fancy living to thatage! The tenants have presented him with a handsome jar of mixedpickles, with an appropriate inscription. Papa is loved and respected byevery one. And I—well, I have made him a little housewife, containingneedles and thread.... See!
[Shows it.
Lord Blesh. (tenderly). I say, I—I wish you would make me a littlehousewife!
[Comedy love-dialogue omitted owing to want of space.
Verb. Oh, do look!—there's Papa crossing the lawn with, oh, such ahorrid man following him!
Lord B. Regular bounder. Shocking bad hat!
Verb. Not so bad as his boots, and they are not so bad as his face!Why doesn't Papa order him to go away? Oh, he is actually inviting himin!
Spiker (sitting on the piano, and dusting his boots with ahandkerchief). Cosy little shanty you've got here, Puddock—very tasty!
Sir P. (with a gulp). I am—ha—delighted that you approve of it! Ah,Verbena!
[Kisses her on forehead.
Spiker. Your daughter, eh? Pooty gal. Introduce me.
[Sir Posh. introduces him—with an effort.
Verbena. (coldly). How do you do? Papa, did you know that the sashlineof this window was broken? If it is not mended, it will fall onsomebody's head, and perhaps kill him!
Sir. P. (absently). Yes—yes, it shall be attended to; but leave us,my child, go. Bleshugh, this—er—gentleman and I have business ofimportance to discuss.
Spiker. Don't let us drive you away, Miss; your Pa and me