E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram,
Punch, or the London Charivari,
William Flis,
and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
There is no truth in the rumour that the Imperial Government istrying to secure from KING ALFONSO an agreement that Germanprisoners shall not escape on Sundays or in batches of more thanfifty at a time.
"Far better another year of war," said the Bishop of LONDON in arecent sermon, "than to leave it to the baby in the cradle to do itover again." Too much importance should not be attached to theseill-judged reflections on the younger members of the Staff.
In Berlin a crowd of people attempted to do some injury to anofficer on the paltry excuse that he ordered the execution ofthirty people for alleged espionage. The German people have alwaysbeen a little jealous of the privileges of the military.
Captain N. BERNIERS, who has just returned to Quebec, reportsthat the Eskimos had not heard of the War. We should be the last toworry Lord NORTHCLIFFE at present, but it certainly looks as if theCirculation Manager of The Daily Mail has been slacking.
We really think more care should be taken by the authorities tosee that, while waging war on the Continent, they do not forget thedefence of those at home. The fact that Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL andMr. HORATIO BOTTOMLEY were away in France at the same time lookslike gross carelessness.
"Next to the field of Mars we must pay homage to the forge ofVulcan," said the KAISER in a recent speech. A stout fellow, thisVulcan, but as a forger not really in the ALL-HIGHEST'S class.
Taxicabs are to be entitled to charge a shilling for the firstmile. The bus fare for the remainder of the distance will be thesame as heretofore.
It is stated that fifty per cent. of the sugar forms have beenfilled in wrong. On the other hand a number of our youthfulhedonists are complaining that as far as sugar is concerned theirforms have never been anywhere near filled in.
A Wood Green gentleman has written to an evening paper to saythat he has grown a vegetable marrow which weighs forty-threepounds. There is some talk of his being elected an HonoraryAngler.
A Grimsby lady who has just celebrated her hundredth birthdaystates that she has never visited a cinema theatre. We felt surethere must be an explanation somewhere.
It seems a pity that the Willesden Health Committee should havetroubled to pass a resolution about the decreasing birth-rate. Whenwe remember air-raids and the shortage of sugar it is only naturalthat people should show a disinclination to be born just now.
"I don't care how soon a General Election comes," says Mr. JOHNDILLON, M.P. It is this dare-devil spirit which has made so manyIrishmen what they are. The recruiting officer has no terrors forthem.
HENRY ELIONSKY, of New York, has succeeded in swimming sevenmiles with his legs tied to a chair and with heavy boots andclothing. It is not known why he did it, but we gather that CHARLIECHAPLIN is now wondering whether he was wise, after all, inbecoming a naturalised American.
The wave of crime still sweeps the country. On top of the£30,000 jewel robbery comes the news that a man has beencharged with breaking into a London